Animals, Reflections

In the Moment – More Lessons from Meadow

It has been a crazy two weeks from traveling to VA, getting settled at home, friends arriving from the UK, and our kids being busier than I thought. Why does summer seem to sprint while winter crawls on? In the midst of laundry, cooking and all things to the backyard, I watched our sweet Meadow grow long legs. Lauren this week said that Meadow looks like a deer.

How she is full of life and continues to teach me life lessons. While I spend so much time with her hoping that she is getting closer to being potty-trained, I find myself watching her in amazement. I think we can learn so much from how she responds to her environment teaching us a calmer path forward. Here are some observations of Meadow’s teachings. How can she help me live with chronic disease feeling full of life and not afraid?

Meadow’s Teachings

  1. Meadow’s gets a collar – people and life might put a new collar on you – you struggle with it – jump around and fight but eventually you go with it and find happiness and play still wherever you go. Meadow spent 5 minutes challenging the collar and then she just went with it. She makes the collar look great and keep on going being curious everywhere she goes.
  2. The hose – some might look at a hose as just for drinking or watering but Meadow finds fun in catching and snapping at the water. So cute and funny – you can’t help but laugh and smile at the excitement she shows with water coming out as an adventure and amusement.
  3. Picking up sticks – well she loves to eat the yard especially sticks and roots. When one stick is taken from her or she drops it, she is on the hunt for the next one. Not frustrated, she moves on quickly – soon to find another one not too far away. She never gives up as so many more options abound with each step. We are blessed to have so many resources.
  4. Cuddles and belly rubs – being with people and animals is important. A tug on Legos tail, a chase of Tallulah, or belly rubs and hugs from the kids, Meadow is happy enjoying life one day at a time. Being in the present moment and enjoying that second for whatever it may bring. Sometimes it is an awesome treat but other times it is just a head rub when we walk by. She appreciates life and never stops wagging her tail. This past weekend, I walked with 2 dear friends. We chatted afterwards for almost 2 hours. It was so nice to be laughing with them and just there. A true blessing is friendship and just being present with each word said.
  5. Playing in the rain – Rain will fall and get us wet but it is better to play than not. It tends to thunder and rain a lot in Florida so you never know when a passing shower might come. She looks up and tries to take a bite of the rain. Quickly moving on, she finds dry patches where she can to play with her sticks and doesn’t let her stop. When one path closes, she often finds a new way to go. She doesn’t want to get fully wet but she goes with it if she has to.
  6. Weeds – Meadow loves the weeds as much as she loves the flowers. Often we look at weeds and cringe . Maybe the weeds are better than we think? Maybe we have not looked closely enough at the benefits of the weeds. So, I stopped to look at the waterdrops on the marigolds. How many of us stop to take a look to see the waterdrops. My picture shows you how many drops of water are there while it rains. Not one drop is the same but equally amazing.
  7. Moths – In the grass, we have many moths and hornets. As Meadow runs through the yard, it springs to life with them flying everywhere. She chases them in all directions excited to see which way they will go. Never a doubt going forward, she goes from one to the next hoping to make a catch. We must live life springing forward chasing a path with gusto.

As I look back over the last 10 days, I quickly become frustrated that I didn’t set time aside to blog, work in the backyard or cook some of my favorite recipes. I can ponder over the reasons why and start listing them to make me feel better or I can simply start again. I know this is something that I enjoy and it is a fun way to talk to others about how we can have a great trip on this journey called life. I must adapt just as my body adapts to a new normal with a chronic disease, how the household adapts to 5 teens as sweet friends from the UK are staying with us, adapt to changing weather from blistering sun to rain, and just adapt to life. I remember that I told myself last week to embrace life so here I go again with the same start – embrace life like Meadow shows me each day. Love unconditionally, help others and be a force of change for the better. We got this and everyone has the chance to start again. Thus, I keep going with the blog. As the rain falls this afternoon, the science teacher in me thanks the water cycle for taking care of the garden this afternoon. We have so many blessings in a single day to a single hour or even a minute. Meadow doesn’t live outside of the present moment and I too want to be present. Whether during exercise knowing that it is the now that hurts. Breathe through and we all got this.

This moment is where you are meant to be so don’t look too far ahead as you will miss where you are. Even the weeds have something to teach you.

Time for you go pick up your stick.
Animals

Meadow meets the Girls.

The girls bring so many smiles to our day. As I round the corner to the coop, I always call out “girls” and they greet me at the fence with a cluck cluck cluck. My heart melts every time as Darby and Delilah enthusiastically run. It is funny to see indeed as they move as fast as they possibly can. Gives new meaning to eager to see you. Even on my worst day, those two can make the clouds around me seem less thick. A fun daily treat is taking Meadow over to see Darby and Delilah. She enjoys interacting with them and is hopeful that she will get some of their treats.

Wish I could get into play….

Chickens are a love and bring so much joy. Lately, it has been a few harder days as my energy is low. One challenge with an autoimmune disease is fatigue. I am not sure how to get passed it, but I know that it is not in my head or the need of a supplement. It just is what it is – the Drs. wish they knew how to make it go away but fatigue is the number one symptom. So back to the girls. They give me that extra boost of life and smile to keep going. The animals in my backyard give me peace and joy knowing that I am loved, but they need my love. They need me as much as I need them.

To their space in the backyard, we designed our coop to have a few spaces to keep them safe from predators and weather. They have two areas to roam around in. One is attached to the coop and opens up automatically at dawn. The chicken guard as it is called opens and closes by the rise and fall of the sun. The chickens have a schedule and they head inside before the guard closes for the night. We have food hanging in the coop and a self dispensing water bucket with nibblers that my husband made.

Garden added to our chicken fence

All in all the chickens are super easy to raise. We let them out of the smaller pen into the larger one if we are home. At night, we lock the outside pen knowing that the chicken guard has already locked them in safely.

Any for me?

I recommend chickens for anyone’s home and backyard. One for delicious eggs but also the fun interaction of nature.

Reflections

Reflection – Live like a Puppy

How quickly a week goes by! I am already at Sunday Reflections and the end of my first week blogging. I didn’t get to post all of my backyard fun but thankfully I have time ahead to keep going and dreaming. It has been a week since I smelled the mountain air and sensed the dew in the meadow. Nature brings your senses alive allowing you to know that you are not alone in this incredible world. As I reflect back about my week, I think about how many things that I have learned from the trials of rising fears to the peace of a team hug. Breathe life and relax. As I was reflecting, my mind kept returning to our newest family member, Meadow. Maybe my mind returns to her quickly as she has to go outside ever 20 minutes or her calm presence at my feet while I work. Life as a puppy is free and full of wonder. Shouldn’t we look at puppies as a guide on how to live our own best life.

I stop and dream.

My life as Meadow…

First, I must Love Unconditionally without thinking. She love us all for who we are no matter what and wants to be with everyone; every person she meets is a quick friend greeted with a puppy lick and enthusiastic hello. She loves without judgement and she just loves being herself. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that in our world today. Love ourselves and love others.

Love to play

I must Trust like Meadow. She trusts that she will be cared for my us, trusts that we will be there and love her. New to her surroundings this week, she was anxious and aware that life was different but she trusted that it would be ok.. By the end of the week she was sleeping on her back looking for a bellyrub. Total Trust! With a chronic disease, it is hard to trust the next moment or week but Meadow would and I want to live like her.

I must Explore. – Meadow is a true explorer where she literally tackles the world around her. She heads out into the big unknown and just goes for it! Puppies haven’t learned about where not to put their noses especially towards the cat or about busy roads but overall wouldn’t it be great to be so carefree that you just go and explore with your senses. Let go and explore like a puppy knowing that your family has your back to stop you from going into traffic.

I want to Play and feel alive – be a puppy at play. Falling over and tumbling down bounding with energy with a desire to get right back up with a waging tail. Yes, some is due to their puppiness and youth but look at what we can we learn from watching them. Play makes us feel alive without feeling defeated. Life is fun and makes a smile. A lot research has been conducted on how smiling can positively lift your mood. Give it a try – I want to feel like a puppy.

I must learn to Rest – Well, when it is time to rest – puppies just plop down where they can and take a break. They know when to stop and relax whether from fatigue or too much interaction with others. Listening to their bodies, they take time to rest which will quickly turn into another 20 minute burst of energy. I so need a puppy reminder to step back; listen to my body and have some ME time.

I must go on a puppy walk. Meadow’s walks are a time for her to smell and see what is around. So many times I arm working on our own problems, listening to media and not being in the moment that is right there. What plants are there, animals, other friends to meet, fun smells or other amazing parts of nature right in front of you? Being present gives your body time to relax and recharge – puppies are the ultimate at being present. They don’t anticipate except for the present moment that they are in – living life more carefree without dread.

Time for our walk to explore.

I must value being with others. Meadow wags her tail when she sees Lego in the morning and quickly curls up with him for a nap to take a rest. Daily visits with Roo, our cat, are a time to say hello to one that hasn’t accepted her yet. The opportunity to love on Roo is never missed and she comes back each day for multiple encounters with a waging tail and an enthusiastic pounce. We then head out to see the girls – our chickens for a quick hello. Meadow loves to see everyone in the backyard. What if I could have that happiness when I see people that I feel aren’t so into seeing me? I need the spirit of Meadow to give me courage to keep going out, see people and reach out for relationships.

Snuggle with others

The daily hellos!

I must learn to love what is front of me. We have so many choices in our modern world; food especially where we live. Puppies aren’t picky. Meadow loves any food – maybe a little too much but I love how she tries new things and eats what is planned for her. I think if my diet for AIH was better I might fight my diseases’ inflammation better. I will blog on my diet later but life as puppy would make diets easier.

I think I could go on and on as she is curled up under my feet. Meadow is a breath of fresh air just like her name invites me to a place where peace and sweet smells can be found. As you go out this week, try a day, an hour, or even a minute as a puppy – it might just be the change that you need to feel free and alive.

As Meadow barks, Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Meadow and I wish you a great day!

About Me

The struggles cresting over the falls…

So, the first week of blogging was going well with a puppy, a super positive attitude and finishing a trip home from my favorite mountains .. what could change that? Well, back to reality and doctor’s appointments with test results and that portal that pops up with a new alert “letter for you to view”. Technology – Yeah! It is amazing to have instant access and I do appreciate it. It was especially great when I was healthy. Now, it has a new meaning to click and pray. So I am still waiting on some results and I am not sure how to keep focused on the good. Except – I guess intentionally doing it. Trying to stop my nerves is like standing at the top of the falls feeling the adrenaline rush through my body if I were to fall. How could someone who gets a daily dose of prednisone feel any more of the intense panic?

Why?

My plans yesterday were to post about my backyard bird feeders. I will post soon as they are one of the true happy parts of the backyard, but I thought I should keep it real – my story – as it goes up and down and possibly falls. So right now, I am focusing on the good, what I know to be true (not the what if’s) and our amazing family including sweet Meadow barking you got this – I need you.

Questions continue to rage inside my head “How will I make it through the each day?” This test might turn out ok and be something we just monitor but then there is next week and then the bigger scan the following week. It doesn’t seem to end. I can’t stop researching the tests and possible results in my portal. Yes I am one of those people who knows a little too much but not enough. Being a science teacher, I love to research but personal research is debilitating. How can I make it one more hour without shaking or screaming why???I don’t want to be whiny and have people cry for me; I want to be strong. But really I want to scream; I want to go back to work; I want to not think about what is next. My sister-in- law told me a quote from Amy Robach’s book from her husband about not dying before you die. I have to enjoy each day – from the small to the even smaller. You got this and with each step I have to believe it is going to get better.

So to bring calm to my mind today, I am looking over my journal – my thoughts from the last 7 months to keep me strong. Wild were my thoughts in the beginning but all have the same message – believe, pray, trust, and be the change for others. So I get to work on my projects, cleaning and such but most importantly I have to get outside myself. Go smell the lavender in the backyard. You are still here so keep going – keep pruning the bushes. I pray to let it all go and the truth is that my body and the medical team are working their hardest to keep me safe. So, let’s go Bitsy – keep on going. Today might be shaky, definitely coming off the anesthesia and no food for 2 days but it is time to breathe and work.

My lavender outside my backdoor

Well, I did some errands out and about. I did it even a trip taking sweet Meadow to the vet. I put on my mask and faced the world. Being away from everyone for 7 months except for my medical team and family had become my fortress with an awesome moat. Maybe it was safe there but I need to go on especially for my cheer team. They need me to cheer them on so I take steps. My best advice today is to keep it real knowing that we will all have these bad days. Days were you shake and you can’t breathe. In these moments, just remember you aren’t alone. I still have to save me from myself but I am also saving me for all the people in my life and the ones that I can help. We got this.

I feel like I am rushing over the falls and praying to survive. We all have to reach out for support and love at times. Alone we are not – together we can love.