Well, a day has gone by and things have calmed down mentally. Thankfully, only some dribbles over the waterfall. I wish that I could have done a better job trusting more and worrying less than rushing to the edge of the falls. My medical tests this week went ok – not perfect and rosy but I am good. Tests are clear just need to continue to monitor – add it to the list. I write another page in my journal giving thanks and gratitude for my team of doctors and of course the cheer team. Through my grouchy day, they gave me hugs and always said the right thing. They now know not to say it is all going to be ok all the time. The best thing that they do is stand by me and say – we are here. Together, we will face it good or bad. I remember from Kate Bowler’s podcast that she explained that the reaction of people to your disease can be so hard. They want you to be tough, be healed and be able to move on. Well, you can’t always do that and for the one who is going through it your heart is being torn to pieces. A chronic disease is not one that is fixed or cured; we just do our best to keep it asleep by taking medicines that in themselves are terrifying. I remember her saying once that you need the people around you to get how awful this disease is and just be with you. They can’t fix it but they can be there through the hugs, the smiles, the hikes and time. She is right – pep talks aren’t always the best comparing your diseases to others. We need to be able to acknowledge that our pain, fear and sadness is real and it just stinks. Life is not fair. I might not get to do everything that I had planned to do, but I am able to do what I can with my cheer team. That in the end is perfect.
Enough about my rough day, I have returned to my backyard passions as they give me peace, hope strength. Nature and being alive is fascinating and when you stop to look at the life around you – you appreciate the miracles of a single day. A passion of mine that started a few years ago was bird watching. Many times during the COVID lockdown, we enjoyed watching the feeders in our backyard. We had some amazing sites to see such as a hawk that we named Ernie learn to fly and attempt feeding in our backyard to a loud bluejay demanding more peanuts. Thankfully Ernie was not a fast learner – not capturing any of our backyard visitors.
From cardinals, doves to bluebirds, woodpeckers and the tufted titmouse; we are blessed to be visited by so many friends.
To start my birding blogs, I wanted to show you our basic feeders that bring us so much joy. My husband built the poles and we bought the feeders at Wild Birds Unlimited. I also buy my feed there. They are so helpful and knowledgeable. They make backyard birding magical. If you have one by you, visit the store and ask lots of questions. They are happy to help and answer. Cornell Ornithology is also a great site to explore to learn more about birds. You will be amazed at the birds that you see and how they make you feel more alive. I love when bluejay screams hello as an old friend visiting taking my mind away from my own life into a fantastical one. My sister-in-law told me that a cardinal symbolizes a loved one that has passed coming back to visit you. What a beautiful thought as most of us have resident cardinals that visit each day. To think Grandma comes each day to check on me makes me smile knowing that I am not alone; she is watching over my steps. Appreciate life from the life of your backyard birds to your own cheer team to the ones you will be routing for along life’s journey.
Check back often as I hope to take many pictures of our visitors and document what works best for us. It has been a trial and error but a fun experiment each week as I clean and load the feeders.
Bitsy's Backyard 